“This is where it ended” I thought to myself as I looked at the highway exit. “This is the moment that made me change my life, change it all”. I had been there, almost died. All for what? I can’t really tell. I am still not sure if all has happened only in my head or if it is all completely real. All I remember from that morning is the adrenaline, the rush, the confusion, the stress, the fact that the only escape… was speed. Speed through the lanes, between the cars, speed of the wheel in my hands. The speed of the power metal blasting through my speakers. Speed. The exhilaration made me forget everything. I do not know if it was a good idea to forget it all because when I remembered. It was the worst feeling I could have ever lived. I had betrayed someone. I had betrayed three years of relationship. But it was impossible for me to go back, I had wanted it, I had made the first steps. She… she had only followed her heart and my lead. And then, did I regret it? I guess not, I still took a cold shower, put my ideas back in place and raced to work. That was on the fifth day. The first day had only been random conversation over dinner at work. Nothing interesting, maybe the fact that I helped her finish her work before going home. I went to bed.
The second day was the same, a whole dinner with her, talking and laughing. Was there something more to it? Sure I thought she was beautiful, stunning and had beautiful eyes. But I didn’t think more than that. And there I went home. Went to see my family, my friends and have fun for a bit. Nothing special inhabited my mind, everything was as usual and my bed ever so comfortable.
The third day, I spoke with her a bit at work and she asked for help to repair her computer. I said I could try, but I couldn’t guarantee anything as I didn’t have any proper tools for the job. We went to her place and I tried. But it was hopeless, a forgotten password kills. But it didn’t stop us from enjoying each other’s company for the whole night. We talked, about anything, everything, without a single second of silence. It was like nothing could stop us, we always had something to add to the other’s story. But, unfortunately, morning came and she had to go to work. I went home, a smile on my face, pondering over the fact that she was a new friend, an awesome friend even. Maybe then my head thought it was more than just casual conversation. I went to bed.
Fourth day. I had told her that I would get something to get her password back and she told me that we could go out this very evening. I went home, showered, changed and headed to her home. There she was with her friend, waiting for me. I got the computer back in shape. We talked a bit, laughed and headed to the Loft. Friday night is a weird night to go out, the dance floor was almost empty until midnight, when we decided to dance with the rest of the people. She was fun to dance with, not necessarily a superb dancer, but I knew she had fun. I was also complimented on my dancing by her and her friend. I’m apparently one of the best they had seen. But anyway, I brought them back and went to bed.
On the fifth day… nothing happened at all. She wasn’t working and I went through the day like any other day of my summer; work, games, sleep. On Sunday, the sixth day. She came to see me after her shift ended and we talked a bit. She told me that she had found that “The fast and the furious: Tokyo drift” was still playing and that she wanted to go. I told her we could go together tonight. She asked me to pick her up after my shift. And so I did. I took a quick shower home while she used my computer and we drove downtown. After the movie, we went back to her place again. We talked again, albeit closer to each other. We talked… for hours. How can it be told? It was obvious that she liked me, that she didn’t accept to go to the movies with me just cause she felt like it. It was also obvious that I was attracted. But here it was, the big and disturbing problem at that moment. I was not single. I was with a wonderful girl that was currently on a trip.comments powered by Disqus