Christian Droulers

Agile and flexible programmer

Time stands still

What is this? There is no mirror, and yet I see myself. I am not moving. Actually, there is nothing moving. I hear… I hear screams, coming from everywhere.

Hands reaching each other, male and female…

Why am I scared, what is that look on my face? I pause when I see… Oh my! What is she doing here? I stare at her, watch her beautiful face, her gracious skin, her penetrating eyes. I walk to her frozen body, her hand is reaching out to something.

Eyes penetrating each other, blue and green…

Man, is she beautiful. She is scared also. Her hand almost touches me… Well, the unmoving me. I want to hold her in my arms, feel her body heat over me. But I can’t, I just pass through her. What is this torture?

Screams piercing the air, shrieks and shouts…

Kids frozen in their play. Their screams echoing in the streets. I walk to them, wondering why it won’t stop, how come I hear the screams while no one is moving. But suddenly, I hear her warm voice over the cacophony of noises. “Where are you?” I scream.

Souls breaking apart, love and hate…

I run to her. “Why?” I ask, “Why am I going through this?”. I see people, starting at me, awestrucked. “What is wrong with you people?” I scream at the top of my lungs. I look at them, they disgust me.

Echoing words, the memories and the forgotten…

So many times I’ve dwelled to tell her, to scream out my feelings, but each time, the rush seemed to disappear and leave me empty. I crumble on my knees in front of her screaming.

Loving emotions, in time and space…

Was I blind? How could I not see? Am I still blinded? I love you! With all my heart, I can’t think about life without you! Tears flow flow from my eyes, burning my skin with grief and sadness. But I my vision is less clouded, outlines are forming. I can see now, I see everything.

Blinding light, soothing and scaring…

They say time freezes when you die. Did I want to see? Is this it? Or am I already dead? Fuck off! I scream at the crowd. Leave me alone! But they won’t look at me anymore. They never did: they were looking at the bus to the side of me.

Tears bursting, fear and sorrow…

I lie my forehead on the road, smashing my fists at the ground, closing my eyes. I am sorry, I mutter while crying. I scream. I AM SORRY! And suddenly, I hear new noises, new voices, her voice, her breath on my face, it feels so good. I open my eyes.

Time flowing, beautiful and hopeless…

There she is, she’s never looked that good, my eyes lock with hers, blue into green, green into blue. I open my mouth slowly, I love you, I say. Tears drop from her cheeks onto my face, burning even more than mine. I close my eyes, they hurt too much. I feel the whiteness entering my soul and spirit. I am sorry, I whisper.

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