And there she was
My flimsy fingers reached for the button. I was afraid. Afraid as I had never been before. I am strong. I can do this. The ring echoed through the walls. Was she really there? Was this really a good idea? Should I have verified her address before? I couldn’t really do that, could I. My brain jumped when a letter was slid under the door. I picked it up, unfolded it and planted my eyes on the beautifully written words on it. They simply registered into my brain as any other words would have. My mind could not react to the fact that this would be a life‒changing experience.
“When you hear three knocks, open the door, enter, close it behind you and walk five steps in front of you. Then, stop and wait.”
I brought the paper to my face to gently inhale its scent. Was it a rose smell? Or a petunia. It didn’t really matter. It smelled so good my brain felt suddenly really relaxed. The magnificent full moon shone on my face, letting me appreciate what a chance I had. The knocks came at that moment. My heart jumped two beats, I was back in my stressed position again. Question sifted along my mind, making me want to just turn around, go back home and sleep as if nothing ever happened. But I couldn’t. I had come this far and it was all I wanted right now. I put my hand on the knob and turned it. Only darkness awaited me. I had never seen such a dark place before. I stepped in and shut the door behind me. It wasn’t darkness anymore. It was blackness. A shadow so black I could not even see my own hands. One… two… three… four… five… I stopped at the same time that I realized I was holding my breath. I inhaled slowly to try and relax, but it seemed that tonight would be a night of tension. It seemed she had plastered the windows shut with something. My eyes kept sweeping from left to right, hoping to grasp a tiny ray of light, a ray of hope. But it never came. I began growing even more nervous. Was it a joke? Was she really here?
‒ Follow the sound of my voice, she said from somewhere in front of me.
I snapped out of my stupid thoughts and clumsily walked forward. She kept calling me closer with a low, tender voice that would have made me do anything.
‒ Just a couple more steps. Come on, don’t be shy, you’ve seen how I am not.
I had seen. But I could not even guess what she was or how she acted.
‒ Alright. Stop here. Don’t move.
I obeyed. Dumb to say, but even if I had wanted to do else than what she ordered, I would have not been able to.
‒ Close your eyes and listen closely.
It seemed that I had no choice. I closed my eyes and concentrated exclusively on my hearing. Every little noise around me made me curious. I could hear a fan spinning lazily over my head, feeling a bit of the moving air on my arms. Then I heard a gentle brushing, a low chuckle. A nervous breathing, an impatient ruffling.
My world came apart suddenly. Her soft, gentle, beautiful fingers had touched my face. Her skin had come in contact with mine. Her soft, mellow, beautiful, honeyed skin was slowly caressing my body. I could not move. I did not want to move in fear it might all go away. It didn’t.
‒ Relax, she said, it’s only you and I. There is no need to be scared.
Was I stiff? I didn’t really know. All I could think of was the adrenaline coursing through my body. It was exhilarating. Her hand brushed close to mine so I grabbed it gently. My other hand reached hers and they clasped together. My head bent down, guided my lips in search for hers. Oh, the pleasure of trifling in the dark in search of the beautiful oasis of magnificence that were her lips. It was only a gentle brush at first, then they connected for a couple of seconds. On the third try, she let her tongue out to tickle my upper lip. She pulled away a bit and giggled.
‒ You taste good, she whispered.
I tasted her back.
‒ So do you, I said.
I tried not to sound afraid, which was the complete opposite of what I felt in every muscle in my body. I could feel each part of my body shaking. I embraced her entire body and we let our tongues dance together for a moment that could never last long enough. I felt liberated. The blackness surrounding us only brought us closer together. Nothing could get to us in here at that particular moment. I wished for it to never end. A futile wish, but hope remained nonetheless.
My hand gently frayed through her hair, caressing her head as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Her hands started foraging under my blouse, slowly eating away at the buttons, slowly uncovering my chest. I could only exhale, letting the pleasure flow through my body. Pleasure overwhelming my brain. It felt like a million feathers tickling my torso’s skin. And yet, her lips and tongue seemed as if they would get enough of my neck. As the last button fell under her gruesome hunger for flesh, she slid her soft hands along my shoulders, then my arms, my elbows, my forearms, my wrists and my hands to finish with my fingers. Then, our contact was broken as her hands had left me. It wasn’t long before I took her face between my hands and laid my lips onto hers. Her belly was explored by a curious, yet shy hand while the other massaged the back of her head. Buttons popped out of her stretched shirt’s cleavage as my ravenous hands asked for more. Suddenly, she gasped loudly. A sexy, inviting gasp. I could almost hear her biting her lower lip in lust. I had hit a sensitive spot. I caressed her arms, letting my lips loose in her chest’s curves, adoring every part of her body that they could lay themselves upon. Everything in the dark was even more beautiful. Things unseen can never be described though. I could not find words to describe what I felt then. And I never will.
She groped my shoulders, spun me around and threw me on her bed just hard enough for me to like it. She then put each of her knees to my sides, taking position over me. She clasped her hands on mine and forced my arms behind my head.
‒ You are not allowed to move, she said.
I knew she was smiling while saying this. And by the tone of her voice, I could also know it was a dirty smile. The one you only get from other people expecting a good night. She moved down the mattress and slid the rest of my clothes off. I heard a low shuffling and the contact was made again. Her slender hands slowly brushed up the inside of my legs, very gently making their way onto my thighs. Her lips let her tongue out to lick my body from the foot all the way up to my neck while letting her naked body caress my skin along the way. It was all over me. I felt as if I could not do anything about her lust. Even if I had wanted to, I could never have left. She would have never let me go. Her tongue found refuge inside my mouth while the whole length of her marvellous body covered mine, her hot body warmed up mine as I felt sweat trickle down her sides all the way onto me. Her breath was heavy, filled with lust and desire. I tried to kiss her but she pulled away to tease me. She let a sexy giggle out that let me know she was in charge for now. She then proceeded in slowly hovering over my body, pecking quickly in some places, building the almost unbearable tension running throughout my body. The tension rose yet again, such a feat I thought impossible was made real by her tongue playing with my body. Her godlike lips entered in the game and made me grab the sheets with my hands as I let out a wild gasp. I had never suffered in such a beautiful way. She was so gentle and yet so wild. When I could not take it anymore, I pulled her up and spun her on her back, kissing her lips and sliding my hand over her body, exploring its magnificence. My mouth slowly drifted south, where it found paradise. Apparently, that paradise was hers as well as her breathing accelerated. Gentle, low moans came out of her mouth and her hands took my head and caressed it. I kept exploring this beautiful place my tongue had found until I felt she couldn’t take any more. I slid my body over hers, touching her lips with mine.
‒ Take me, she said, breathing very heavily.
I was more than happy to oblige. When our bodies connected, I felt her tense. I went back and forth slowly, synchronising my breathing with hers, feeling her soft, magnificent inside. When I took the rhythm up a notch, her arms wrapped around my body, taking away any distance that was left between us. Her nails scratched my back, sending a chill through my whole body. I could hear her moan over the sound our bodies made when they brushed together. I could feel her warm breath all over my face. I was in heaven.
She lifted her knees and my body followed with deeper thrusts. Her moans became tiny screams that grew louder with each coming and going. It was beautiful. I could not retain my voice anymore. I moaned along her screams, letting the ecstasy fill my body, feeling every single muscle tensed to a point almost unbearable. I could feel she was at that same point as well because I heard her hands dig deep into the mattress, her back bending upwards. Suddenly, the screams were no more, it was only a restrained gasp that lasted a good 20 seconds before the culmination of pleasure. I could no longer endure the tension and I let go, releasing both of our bodies of the beautiful pain we were enduring. Her arms embraced my body and hugged me so hard I had to work to keep my movements steady as we came together. Then, it was over. I let my body lay onto hers, her mouth close to my ear, mine close to hers. All I could concentrate on was both of our heavy breaths. Hers would run down my neck, bringing a chill up my skin, creating goose bumps along its path.
‒ Thank you, I whispered.
She chuckled softly.
‒ Thank you! For this, she replied.
I smiled in the dark. I layed onto her for a long moment, unable to say anything else. It was better that way. Silence could never be enjoyed more than now. I took this time to remember how it all started…
A simple link on a blog I read regularly. It was so simple. “Trema” was her nickname. A couple of months of lurking on her website, waiting for an update, a picture, a piece of her mind, a glimpse of her beautiful body. And every week I’d be satisfied with a mysterious piece of art. A photograph that spoke thousands upon thousands of words without ever revealing her visage. Every week I could read her wonderful, joyful words until that faithful month where she seemed to disappear. No update for one week, then two, then three. I made myself believe she was out somewhere, living her life, that she’d come back very quick. But another week passed, then a fifth. Everyday had me come back on my computer just to check for an update. I could not take it anymore. I emailed her a shy message.
Hi, I was just wondering if everything was going fine!
– a worried admirer.
The answer came two days later.
Hello, thanks for writing to me. Everything is fine. I’m having a bit of personal and computer problems nowadays, I should be back soon.
‒ TremÄ.
Through those short, heartfelt emails, we got to know each other a bit more. Writing parts of ourselves to the other. Discovering things we’d never expected. Through instant messaging, when she finally started updating her blog again, we discovered yet a bit more about each other. But though I craved her pictures, though I craved her words, they felt less appealing than the conversations I would have with her. I felt that the only reason that pushed me to go online was to look on my list of contacts and hope she was there. We’d spend hours talking about beliefs, tastes and most importantly: sex.
One day, she made the proposal.
‒ Let’s meet, she wrote.
‒ What? I asked, puzzled that she’d want to break her mystery.
‒ In real life, I want to be more than just your fantasy.
‒ But I do not want to see your face, I do not want you to become anything else than a fantasy. I’ve only discovered parts of you and I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to destroy your mystery.
‒ You won’t, I will take care of that.
And she gave me an address. Now, I am here, in this very peaceful moment. With her in my arms. Even in the dark she was beautiful. I did not regret it. It sure had broken a bit of my fantasy, but I had not seen her. She was right there in front of me, yet she was invisible. I felt free with her, satisfied and perfectly in my place in this world.
An hour or so later, I felt it was time to leave. I kissed her, fondled with the darkness to find my clothes and clumsily walked to the door. “Thank you” I said as I passed the door. The drive home felt very weird. I felt that, for some reason, I’d never see her again. I went to bed with a smile nonetheless. This really had been a glorious night.
There were no updates for the week that followed. I had to rely on older pictures to keep my appetite for her body from eating my inside. But soon, her digital self could not satisfy me as much as it used to. I had gotten more, and I craved more again. Her erotism could not fill my hunger for her anymore. Days and days I spent thinking of her sweet embrace, worrying if all was well. No emails in my inbox, not a sign of her on instant messaging. She did not even answer my emails. I was starting to believe she had moved on and changed life completely.
Four months went by. I had forgotten all about her. She was in the past and I only remembered a bit of our encounter. One morning, as I was enjoying breakfast, I heard shuffling in the corridor. I opened my door and saw movers transporting furniture to the last apartment of the block. There was a beautiful woman that followed them. She looked at me with a smile.
‒ Looks like we’re going to be neighbours! she said happily.
She held out her hand, I shook it idly.
‒ Cool, my name’s Sefane, nice to meet you, I replied stupidly.
‒ I’m Anaïs. Hope to talk to you more later!
And she started walking away, almost prancing in happiness. Suddenly, my mind raced to make links when it finally occurred to me.
‒ Hey, wait!
‒ Yes? What’s up?
‒ Is your name written with a Trema?
‒ Well yes, why would you ask?
I only smiled. I had forgotten all about her. And there she was…