Jump
Chapter 2: Reminiscence
Was it worth it? Did I really want this? It didn’t really matter. All I could feel was her hand on my leg and the urgent need to speak. We had just spent two hours without really talking. Furtively looking at each other at the corner of the eye. Scared to meet the other’s gaze. Words echoed all over my mind. Sentences made their way up to my tongue but eventually died as my lips seemed sealed shut. But it finally came. My lips gave away, letting words flow softly.
“Kiss me…”
She looked at me, smiling with the most radiant of smiles. But suddenly, she blushed and looked down. “I think you should do it” she said, faintly. A beautiful, arousing chill ran up my spine and sparkled all over my face. I raised my upper body to sit in front of her, brought my hand to her cheek and gently put my lips against hers. I almost exploded of sheer exhilaration. The feeling was beautiful, appealing and felt incredibly good. Maybe it was what I had been searching for since the last couple of months. Maybe I should have done something similar before. But those questions washed away from my mind at a sickening speed as her hands reached my face, caressing it gently, holding it as if to never let go. We spent two hours like this, our bodies trying to meld into one. Lips never separating, as if it would last forever. We rolled around, her body over mine, her lips touching mine. My hand slowly and shyly reached for her side which replied in a quick move away from it followed by a low gasp from her mouth. When she let my hand caress her skin, I could feel the goose bumps I had created on it. It was charming, I actually thought it was funny she reacted that way until she touched my belly’s skin. I gasped and felt a huge chill throughout my body. It was magical. My hand didn’t dare go farther. I enjoyed being caressed and caressing for the rest of the time we had together that morning.
It was difficult to part from her, we had talked a bit about what had happened, saying that we’d see how it would go for the day then we’d talk again. As I walked to my car, I felt my mind blown. It was trying to answer so many questions I could not even concentrate on a single one. I turned the ignition, the engine rumbled and drove away. My hands shook on the steering wheel as I waited at the first red light. My foot was weirdly heavy and the engine roared faster. 60 km/h… 70km/h… 80km/h… the other cars just zoomed by as I passed them. There weren’t a lot of driver on a monday morning at six. Just enough so that I could see that I was going fast. Real fast. My hands tightened their grip on the wheel, hoping that the lights would stay green until I passed them. I raced onto the highway. 120km/h… 130km/h… 140km/h… 150km/h… 160km/h… two trailer trucks were following each other in the two lanes of the highway. There was a small opening into which I slipped. But the truck ahead hadn’t seen me and started to drift into my lane. I hit the accelerator harder and slipped by it, inches separating me from a fatal accident. It honked as I sped in front of it. “No matter” I thought as my heart raced with adrenaline and regret and happiness and all other kinds of feelings. I zigzagged my way home between the slower cars, feeling the only escape I knew… speed. I showered and went to work without sleep. The day was going to be hard. But as it went by, I realized I was smiling, and that when I picked her up at the end of her shift, I was more than happy to see her.
The rest is history, as they say.
I was still staring down at the asphalt when she put her hand on my shoulder. “Come on sweetheart, let’s go.” She went back into the passenger seat of my car and sat. I looked over one last time and realized once again that I was smiling. Death was nothing to me. Not anymore. Not now that I had faced it and gotten something beautiful out of it.
I love you honey.